Unexpected encouragement

Monday was a bad day. Not bad in the traditional sense - several good things happened but it was just generally an unproductive day. I played outside with the kids, wasted time on the computer, took a nap, played wii with the kids.... all the while ignoring my house that was in a state of turmoil from the weekend. I didn't even cook. We had grilled cheese for dinner. Tom and I were grouchy at each other mostly because the messy house irritated us. Words were exchanged and I walked away feeling like a total failure as a wife, mom, and housekeeper.. mostly the wife and housekeeper part. I shed a few tears, angrily scrubbed down the bathroom and then went to bed.

So, yesterday was spent cleaning the house from top to bottom and catching up on laundry. It felt great to have it all done, but I was still in a funk. The refrain that kept echoing in my head was "You suck at your chosen profession. You'd have been fired long ago if this was a real job. It's time to find a new career path.... one you'll actually enjoy and be good at." Now to be clear I do enjoy being a stay at home mom, on most days, I love it even! But there are days, seasons even, when it's just not a cakewalk. It's well known fact among moms, yet seldom talked about. Sad when you consider the amount of encouragement we can offer each other.

So there I was Tues. evening, drowning in self pity and loathing - going down my "perfect housewife" checklist in my head and robotically checking each point off. I served dinner at 6, had the kids in bed at 7:30, cleaned the kitchen, folded laundry and went to bed with the house looking perfect. But oh, where was the joy??? I was too tired and too fed up to even wonder, let alone pray about it.

This morning I was greeted by a myspace message in my inbox from a lady I don't even know:

I'm fairly new to MySpace; and I'm not one to be very adventurous...:) But I ran across your page, and I just wanted you to know that for whatever reason you have really inspired me. Its so hard in these days to find young people that are grounded, solid, God-fearing, responsible, and all around good people. I know I'm probably assuming too much, especially since we don't know each other, but I just wanted you to know, that as a mommy and a wife, you really blessed me.

That's all it took for me to remind me - this is my calling! So what if my house isn't perfect 24/7. My life has meaning and impact even beyond the four tiny lives entrusted to my care. I just cried. I'm so thankful that God knows what I need even I don't or can't or won't ask Him! I needed joy and encouragement and He mercifully provided it. I was reminded of the verse in Lamentations, His mercies are new every morning and the one is Psalms, joy comes in the morning. How true!

Today was a wonderful day. Joy abounded and all the chores were done without procrastination. Such an accomplishment for me! :) It was a very good day!